Dino-Style
by Who really Knows
Summary: A depressed Naruto finds himself obsessed over the schools new student. All while dealing with a suddenly possessive non-ex ex. GaaNaru, SasuNaru I'm not sure how I would pair this? WARNING: little crazy
1. Chapter 1

**Day One**

He should get up, wash his hair, eat a pancake and stop masturbating to cartoon porn. How many positions would Fred Flintstone really be capable of? Still, this obsession with his dino-pet...that was kind of troubling, almost more than the amount such disturbing visual imagery had on Naruto himself.

He should get up, wash his hair, eat a pancake, stop masturbating to cartoon porn and go to school. Yup, and he's going to do that...now! Nope...okay, ...NOW!

Not happening.

It's four in the morning, get up and go fucking shower and go to school!

Naruto shoved a poptart deeper in his mouth, flinging crumbs off the bed as he shifted around in an attempt to ignore his clock and search for more porno on his phone.

"Naruto!" Dear lord, signs of life present, who the fuck knew? The pounding on the door increased, and suddenly many voices were talking at once. Was it Sakura? Maybe Ino? Possibly...no, let's not go there. "Open the fucking door!"

Ah, Sakura then.

Didn't she realize it's four in the morning? He contemplated her sanity, shifting around more on his bed. Of course she knows the time, she's probably worried. How long has he been laying here with his pop tart supply? Days, years, months-who knew?

Okay, fine. Naruto sat up, frowning at the slight alien pudge he felt around his middle, before setting his feet on the floor. He had to sweep sometime, that much was certain. It was then, when he was about to stand, that his window shattered to pieces.

Repeat: His window shattered to pieces.

And before he could even register what was going on Sakura was in his room followed by an equally pissed Ino. She paused her assault down the hall towards Naruto's open bedroom door way to hold her nose in disgust, but to his dismay, the smell alone couldn't stop her. "You haven't been to school in two weeks! Ignoring our calls, and what the fuck is this?"

He was pretty sure that she stepped in an old ramen container...by the looks of it, an old crunchy ramen container. Sakura released a roar of fury, Naruto crawled back in bed and cuddled a pillow to himself. "Naruto Uzumaki! This is what's going to happen, you're getting the fuck up! Getting in the fucking shower! Coming to fucking school! And then we're coming back, together, and cleaning your fucking apartment! Is that clear?"

Naruto stared back at her, daring only a slight nod before obeying her every order.

So much for Fred Flintstone kinks...

* * *

Being outside again was strange.

After hours of showering, searching for clean clothes that actually fit him and dealing with Sakura's screams of horror and disgust they were now ten minutes late to school. What was he worried about being tardy for? He missed two weeks of school without a problem.

Of course, Naruto knew he searching for excuses to not go. He really should have thought it through, now he'll have to face him after disappearing, gaining weight and overall just looking like shit.

Okay, so he only gained around ten pounds and he didn't look that horrid all around but that's hardly the point. When dealing with one's ex-whatever's, people typically like to look their best. That's the point.

Before he knew it, Naruto found himself sitting in a desk without being able to recall ever getting out of the car. Did he even know his schedule anymore? Wasn't it something like: Sasuke, no sasuke, no sasuke, sasuke, lunch, sasuke, no sasuke, no sasuke?

_God, where's a poptart._

"Excuse me, that's my seat." Who's this? Naruto blinked, staring up at a pair of soft green eyes surrounded by black eyeliner and deep red hair. What a pretty shade. "The teacher assigned me this seat."

"Oh?" Naruto managed.

"Naruto, get up and give him his seat!" Kiba, who normally ignored Naruto, turned around and frantically gestured for him to move. Naruto stared back, this was odd. Was this Kiba? The same guy who throws erasers over his head, trying to disturb Naruto and who ever else ends up behind him.

"Where do I sit then?"

"Who cares!"

"You can have the seat." The guy stared off in the direction of an empty seat by the window, "I'll get a new one."

"That was a close one you idiot!" Kiba leaned in, whispering through his teeth, "That's Gaara, he's new and fucking scary. So stay your stupid ass away from him!"

Naruto had no time to ask important details, like why Gaara is scary and why he should stay away from him, as Kiba turned around and their typically tardy teacher entered the room. He couldn't help it, he let out a snort at the most hilarious thought to ever occur to him.

_It's funny how life goes on without you._

* * *

"Day's almost over!" Sakura cheered at lunch time, shooting Naruto a hopeful smile that he failed to return. Sasuke had been suspiciously absent all day, meaning he either changed his schedule or moved away. Considering that the female population was still alive and Sakura hadn't mentioned a word about him, he was going with the schedule change theory.

Fuck, dump and avoid. That's the sequence Naruto, or did you forget? _What, you thought you were different?_

"Naruto?" Sakura's voice penetrated the memory of those words, she took his hands in hers and squeezed them gently, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"Call the police." Ino chimed in with a smirk. Sakura glared and Ino amended her comment with a half-hearted, "Sorry." and a look that told Naruto _"you know how dramatic she can be."_

Which oddly enough made him smile, because yes, he did know.

"There is something we should probably tell you..." Sakura trailed off with a grimace, Ino put down her yogurt cup and left abruptly. _Great, what now?_ He realized that she still had his hands in hers, and tried to become lost in the smooth feel of her skin so that whatever was coming would be less of a shock.

"Did you know that your Facebook wall is covered in weird cartoon porn images?"

* * *

_Shit, fucking mother fucker!_

Naruto scanned through his Facebook frantically, cringing in horror at the amount of porn related posts that covered his wall. Did someone hack him? "Has...everyone seen these?"

"It was the only way we knew you were still alive." Sakura shot him a sympathetic look as she fished out more things from underneath his bed to throw away. "But...why of all things did you...?"

"What started out as curiosity took a wrong turn." He grumbled into the screen, opting to delete the entire Facebook and hopefully spare himself some embarrassment, hell, why not give up the social networking sites as a whole while he was at it.

Good idea!

"Been there." She nodded with a grim smile and held up a pair of boxers with a cringe, "Get off your ass and help me clean."

Naruto smirked for the first time in weeks. _Sasuke?_ He thought, _Sasuke who?_

* * *

Sasuke.

Just when his confidence becomes built it comes crashing down. The sound a running washer and dryer in the next room and an occasional thump from a neighbor kept him company in the sea of flashbacks that invaded his brain.

_Sasuke, Sasuke, Damn fucking Sasuke!_

Naruto kicked off his sheets and sat up, his newly clean room sparkled around him. Begging for attention, and weeks of piled up homework groaned nearby from his desk. Space to work out? Homework? No more dino-porn...not many options.

He rolled on the floor, tumbling into a count of ten push-ups before collapsing with a growl. Homework it was then. Not that it was a different process, between push-ups and straining his brain Naruto's mind still resisted any signs of fatigue.

Frustration built up until finally there was no longer Sasuke and he was finally able to go over his day without another invasion. Gaara, the new creepy kid. There was a healthy fixation. Such pretty green eyes, what did they look like? The sea, well at least as Naruto knew the sea. Green and blue, with soft turns and harsh pulls.

He closed his eyes and drifted away, carried by the sea-foam.

* * *

**So, in case you didn't notice this fic is a little weird, but it also becomes really sweet. :) I've been sitting on it for about a month, but I'm going to take my time in posting chapters. Maybe I'll make it...hmm...maybe I'll make one every week? I'm not sure, depends on if you guys like it. So...**

**If you like it, let me know! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Day Two**

As far as obsessions go, fantasising about the new kid really couldn't be that bad. He was sure that others wouldn't see it that way, especially Sakura. She'd say something about finding himself and coming out of depression or other nonsense and then probably force him to see a therapist.

Yeah, so much like the dino-porn, Naruto kept his new found interest to himself. _This is not a sex thing_, he sternly told himself, _so why bother anyone else about it?_

First step of creepy obsession? Obtain information.

Gaara: not many friends, attractive, and surprisingly polite with a dark reputation.

Naruto sorely noted that if there was sexual attraction there, he had a thing for handsome loners who didn't talk and had an attraction to dark clothing styles. It's nice to know your type.

Even if the revelation puts a bad taste in your mouth.

"We're going out tomorrow." Sakura popped his thought bubbles with the sharp end of her plastic spork, "Anything you want to do or should I just randomly pick?"

"Um..." He trailed off, she frowned, the world continued to go round. It's helpless, here she is practically jumping up and down looking for signs of life in a clearly obsessed ridden Naruto, and the only reply she can get is noises like, "Uh..."

"Shopping it is then." She growled, glaring at Ino's dessert. "Are those peaches?"

"We should go to the mall if we're shopping." Naruto watched as Ino's desperate attempt to distract Sakura from her favorite dessert failed, the pointed spork jutted out and stabbed a helpless peach, dragging it out of the creamy sauce. It gave one last squeak before Sakura slurped it away with a satisfied groan. Ino sighed in her dessert, "Maybe we should go to the gym, between you and Naruto it would be a waste to spend money on clothes."

Something happened next, probably a fight or verbal altercation, that would be per the usual behavior. Whatever happened, Naruto had no idea as the object of his new found obsession made an appearance and none other than his own freaking lunch table, mouthing inaudible words and polite gestures.

"Naruto." Sakura screamed in his ear, he blinked at her before turning towards an unfazed Gaara.

"Huh?"

"Gaara asked if you had his green pencil?" The question in her tone said it all, he could practically feel the grip on his shoulders and her voice screeching in his ear about all the horrible terrible things that could happen to little pitiful dumped boys like him.

Wait, green pencil. The one with cookie stickers all down it's handle? Now that, is information. Naruto half smirked before turning to facing a collected Gaara, what's scary about this guy again? "Come shopping with us tomorrow after school, and I'll give it to you."

A slow blink, a pause, and Gaara was off into a parting cloud of observers with an "Okay." trailing behind him.

"Well...don't you move fast." Ino winked, he smirked back, about to open his mouth at let her know that this was nothing more than figuring out what was up with the new kid before Sakura interrupted.

"Naruto..." She warned, her body standing on edge, "What do you think you're doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know who Gaara is? He got expelled from his last school for hospitalizing someone!" The thought of hospitalizing Sasuke popped in his head for a second, making him smile at completely the wrong time. "Naruto!"

"I'm sure it's not that bad, he probably had a reason."

"That's what you said about Sasuke." It was a low blow, the whole table knew it. Maybe she was right, where the hell was this going? "I'm sorry."

"No." Naruto shook his head, "It's okay."

Was it?

* * *

Yes, it was. Why did he have to understand it? Late night thoughts reassured Naruto, Sakura be damned! This is important.

Gaara seemed different from Sasuke. More reserved, polite, and seemed to have less of an ego. Plus no fan club, that's always a bonus. No, Sasuke was more of a show off type, popular for his mix of skills and mystery. Gaara seems strong, but subdued.

What an attractive combo.

_Except he's not supposed to be attractive!_ Naruto groaned into a pillow, beating himself over the head. Rebounds are something to avoid, they would make him nothing but another Sasuke. If there was attraction with Gaara, it has to wait. Years probably, no months, maybe a year.

The alarm rang, four am has come and sleep has eluded once again. Perfect.

* * *

**Chapter 3 is freaking huge, so I left this one short in comparison, hope you don't mind.**

**NEXT TIME: A day at the mall turns into hell on Earth . Between ex's, lazy ice cream vendors and mad dashes will Naruto get the opportunity he's been waiting for? And more importantly, will Gaara get his pencil?**

**What would you guys like to see at the mall? (I already have some stuff obviously, but reading it over it doesn't feel complete yet)**


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